Tending to Yourself Is Not Selfish

Self-care isn't a spa day or a to-do list. In the HOCI model, it's one of the six core areas of healthy human functioning -- the ability to identify and tend to your own needs across four domains: physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual. In this episode we look at why self-care breaks down, what the value wound has to do with it, and why the cultural version of self-care leaves a lot of people -- especially men -- out entirely. If you've ever felt like tending to yourself was somehow selfish, this one's for you.

IN THIS EPISODE

The HOCI definition of self-care -- and why it's broader and more serious than the cultural version

Why self-care breaks down: the value wound, codependence, and the belief that needs are selfish

The four domains: physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual -- and what neglect in each one costs

A direct conversation about men and self-care: what men are taught about needs, and what that costs them

What self-care actually looks like for men -- practical and without the cultural baggage

How self-care connects to all six HOCI principles

Why giving from depletion isn't generosity -- it's a slow burn

REFLECTION QUESTION

In which of the four domains -- physical, emotional, relational, spiritual -- are you most depleted right now? And what is the story you tell yourself about why you don't have permission to tend to it?