Yes, Jon Ossoff Is That Desperate

Today, after staying on Jon Ossoff’s email list for eight years, I finally hit unsubscribe. This is my Dear Jon letter, and in some ways, the moment I will really be saying goodbye to the Democratic Party once and for all.

I will admit I held on too long with Ossoff. Try as I might over the past six years since leaving the party to extricate myself from their relentless email machine, I didn’t mind when Ossoff’s emails flew into my mailbox.

In 2017, I saw in Ossoff what the Democrats needed as they tried to find their next Obama stand-in. He fit the bill perfectly. I also liked how he didn’t seem to buy into the party's increasingly crazy extremes but was comfortably moderate, at least for a time.

My record with Federal political donations tells the tale.

If anyone looks at my record, they’ll see I continued donating to ActBlue through 2025. Except that I didn’t. I just didn’t realize they were charging me all that time. That’s how relentless they are and how stupid I am.

The Glow-Up

Before the expensive makeup, strategic lighting and tight shirts, Ossoff looked like what Steve Bannon would call a “pencil-necked geek.” He was too skinny, even if he was an Obama clone. He seemed too good, too clean for dirty politics back then.

I fell for the lie that Ossoff really was a self-made man, a “filmmaker who turned to politics,” per this Wall Street Journal video.

He is hardly self-made. More like a hot house flower.

Ossoff grew up in a political household. Both parents were heavily involved in politics. At just 19, he began working on Capitol Hill for Rep. Hank Johnson while attending Georgetown’s School of Foreign Service and continued working for him until 2012.

His email list was mostly the kind of thing you’d get in the old days of the Democratic Party, the kind of thing you’d expect from the Obama clone factory.

But that isn’t really where Ossoff is now in his political career. He is determined not to go down as a squeaky-clean beta male. No, Ossoff has gotten SWOLE. He appears to have brought in a team to fix the look to be camera-ready. The makeup, the hair, the dimples. Ossoff finally looks the part. He can do alpha.