Tyler Dickerhoof: The Things We Hide

Philosophical Hook

We often treat professional drive, relentless intensity, and self-reliance as badges of honor. But what happens when our greatest leadership strengths are actually walls we built to hide our deepest pain?

In this powerful episode, Chris Schembra sits down with leadership coach and author Tyler Dickerhoof to discuss his new book, The Things We Hide. Tyler opens up about the tragic childhood loss of his younger brother, Joel, and how that single event led him to build a 25-year defensive wall of extreme intensity. Together, they explore how to break through the four walls of insecurity—intensity, inactivity, insensitivity, and isolation—to transition from a defensive, lonely "bulldozer" into a truly connected, impact-driven leader.

10 Memorable Quotes

"My brother had died and it was an accident. I was fourteen and Joel was three." — Tyler Dickerhoof

"Where we get in trouble is when we start to depict other people's interpretation of value as our own. And that's where everything goes awry." — Tyler Dickerhoof

"I don't tell that story because I don't think it has value. I didn't understand that that manifestation of hiding those things was creating a barrier in my ability to connect." — Tyler Dickerhoof

"Instead of it showing up at the bottom of a bottle or drugs... it was my intensity." — Tyler Dickerhoof

"Intensity is a bulldozer. A bulldozer will clear a path, but it's going to leave carnage. And in a human sense, that carnage is relationships." — Tyler Dickerhoof

"If you want to level some land, great, but I'm not gonna go hang out with you... because I was always on to the next thing." — Tyler Dickerhoof

"If leadership is lonely, you’re doing it wrong." — Tyler Dickerhoof

"I was marooned on an island because I thought I had to do it all... But I was the one that held the keys to the lifeboat." — Tyler Dickerhoof