Hack Your Happiness

← Hack Your Happiness29 Jul · 1 h 04 min

How to Master Your Emotions, Stop People Pleasing, & Say No Without Guilt - Melissa Urban

How to Master Your Emotions, Stop People Pleasing, & Say No Without Guilt - Melissa Urban29 Jul1 h 04 min

<p>Melissa Urban stopped being nice on purpose. Her relationships got better, not worse.</p><p>You&#39;ve said yes to plans you didn&#39;t want, dinners you dreaded, and favours that left you resentful. In this conversation you&#39;ll learn how to spot exactly where a boundary is missing in your life, what to say out loud when you set it, and how to hold it when the other person pushes back. You&#39;ll also stop treating the guilt that follows as proof you did something wrong.</p><p>In this episode:</p><p>-Spot the feelings that signal you may need a boundary</p><p>-Get Melissa&#39;s homework for boundary-setting (it&#39;s easier than you think!)</p><p>-How to tell a real boundary from a wall</p><p>-Exact scripts for what to say in life&#39;s most uncomfortable moments</p><p>-The &quot;energy leaks&quot; quietly emptying you (and what to do)</p><p>-What saying &quot;no&quot; does to your &quot;yes&quot;</p><p>-How to raise a kid who can say &quot;no&quot;Melissa Urban is the co-founder and CEO of Whole30 and the author of <em>The Book of Boundaries</em>. Known online as “the Boundary Lady,” she&#39;s the expert at teaching people how to say no clearly, kindly, and without apologizing for having needs.</p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://smallbitsofhappiness.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Explore our website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a></p><p><a href="https://smallbitsofhappiness.com/shopbits/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Shop the Summer Clothing Collection</a></p><p><a href="https://www.melissau.com/boundaries-book/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Check out The Book of Boundaries</a></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/melissau/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Follow Melissa on Instagram</a></p><p><a href="https://www.melissau.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Browse Melissa&#39;s website</a></p><p><br></p><p>Ready to Hack Your Happiness some more? Listen to our interview with Michael Chernow. We know you&#39;ll love it: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/2EA4uwjRrqAMldSixeZTP1?si=rpDbPD_TRMOCnis4lVzbsw" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠listen + watch now!⁠</a></p><p><br></p><p>(00:00) Why This Conversation Matters For You</p><p>(02:19) Becoming &#39;That Boundary Lady&#39;</p><p>(04:15) Where Should I Add Boundaries Into My Life? </p><p>(08:29) The MOST Important Boundary</p><p>(10:36) Remember This When You Feel a Boundary Slipping</p><p>(16:30) Are Boundaries Selfish?</p><p>(19:57) Do I Need To Disappoint People?</p><p>(21:58) Your Sign To Do THIS</p><p>(22:32) Boundaries vs Walls</p><p>(27:28) Have You Ever Set An Unhealthy Boundary?</p><p>(29:50) Increase The Power of Your Yes</p><p>(31:04) Discomfort In Setting Boundaries</p><p>(35:33) Your Homework -- Do This TODAY!</p><p>(37:33) Is Cancelling Plans Last Minute a Boundary?</p><p>(39:33) Use This Boundary Script</p><p>(40:49) Say YES To This!</p><p>(41:57) How To Teach Boundaries</p><p>(44:25) Boundary or Wall?</p><p>(48:00) Give Us The Script</p><p>(50:00) What Is An Energy Leak?</p><p>(53:48) Melissa&#39;s First-Ever Boundary</p><p>(56:54) Having a Bad Day vs Ignoring Your Boundaries</p><p>(58:24) The MOST Important Part of Today&#39;s Conversation</p><p>(59:37) Rapid Fire</p><p>(1:02:13) Find Melissa Here</p><p>(1:03:04) Rewire Your Habits, Change Your Life, and Boost Your Motivation</p>