Traci Thrash: Perimenopause Brain, Pleasure & the Wheel of Consent

<p>Michelle sits down with menopause doula Traci Thrash (The Change Doula) for a wide-ranging, no-filter conversation about perimenopause brain fog, what pleasure actually means outside of sex, the asexual/demisexual spectrum, the Wheel of Consent, autonomy in long-term relationships, and the HRT and lifestyle tools they swear by.</p><p><br /></p><p>Traci is a menopause doula based outside Madison, Wisconsin. She supports women in perimenopause, menopause, and midlife through 1:1 work and group programs, focusing on connection and community as much as education. Find her at <a href="https://www.thechangedoulas.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer"><strong>https://www.thechangedoulas.com/</strong></a>.</p><p><br /></p><p>Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at <a href="https://cuddlist.com" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://Cuddlist.com</a>. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are<a href="https://meetmichellerenee.com" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠</a> and<a href="https://humanconnectioncoach.com" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠</a> and she can be found on social media at<a href="https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠</a>.</p><p><br /><br /></p><ul><li><p>What a "menopause doula" actually does</p></li><li><p>Why community — not just information — is what people are craving in midlife</p></li><li><p>Redefining "pleasure" and "desire" as words that don't have to mean sex</p></li><li><p>Soft Cock Week and reframing what counts as a "real" sexual experience</p></li><li><p>Michelle's story of realizing she's asexual/gray-sexual at 47</p></li><li><p>Demisexuality, gray-sexual, and "nebulosexual" — labels that helped both of them make sense of their experiences</p></li><li><p>The Wheel of Consent and why receiving a genuine "no" can be the deepest form of intimacy</p></li><li><p>Autonomy, relationship anarchy, and not needing total overlap with a partner</p></li><li><p>The "rope widow" season — staying close while pursuing very different interests</p></li><li><p>Why empowerment narratives for older women default to sex, and what's missing from that picture</p></li><li><p>HRT journeys, finding a doctor who actually listens, and favorite midlife self-care finds</p><p><br /></p><p><strong>Resources &amp; Mentions</strong></p></li></ul><ul><li><p><a href="https://schoolofconsent.org" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Wheel of Consent</a> framework (Betty Martin)</p></li><li><p><a href="https://amzn.to/4xNNB6w" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Estrogen Matters</em></a> — book on HRT and breast cancer risk</p></li><li><p><a href="https://amzn.to/4w5DKHv" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Slow Moon Climbs</em></a> by Susan P. Mattern — anthropological look at menopause</p></li><li><p><a href="http://joinmidi.com" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">MIDI Health</a> — telehealth HRT provider</p></li><li><p><a href="https://go.shopmy.us/p-55444133" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Vulva Balm by Medicine Mama</a> — for labial/vulvar dryness</p></li><li><p>Fiber gummies (Metamucil, Miralax-style) for midlife gut health</p></li><li><p>Dual-zone heated mattress pad — relationship-saving bedroom hack</p><p><br /></p><p>If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit <a href="htt