when boundaries become walls: relearning friendship as an adult

If you've ever wondered whether you're protecting your peace or actually sabotaging connection, this conversation will hit close to home.   This episode is for anyone in their 20s who's outgrown old friendships, feels lonely but guarded, or is trying to figure out whether their boundaries are healthy or just walls.   Lets get brutally honest about why I have been cutting people off, avoiding plans, and confusing hyper-independence with healing, and why those patterns may be tied to a deeper fear of rejection, intimacy, and being left out.   I unpack the difference between real discernment and black-and-white thinking, how old wounds with women can shape adult friendships, and why "I'm just introverted" can sometimes be a very polished form of self-protection.   You'll hear me share: how abandonment wounds can show up in friendships, not just romance why I realized I was rarely the one initiating plans the moment I noticed I was rejecting friendships before they could reject me how childhood friend-group dynamics can get replayed in adulthood why not every friendship has to be soul-deep to be meaningful I also break down the tension between body intuition and fear-based avoidance, and why some friendships deserve patience while others genuinely need to end.

Along the way, I reflect on what it means to stop outsourcing responsibility for connection and start showing up with more openness, accountability, and honesty.   The takeaway is simple but uncomfortable: healing doesn't always look like cutting people off - sometimes it looks like staying open long enough to let something real grow.   A vulnerable, messy, deeply relatable conversation about friendship, rejection, and learning how to keep your heart open without abandoning yourself.   XO♾️, Kendall Joy   Workshops, 1:1, guided visualization, & breathwork below!! Come hang (:   https://www.bringsoul.life/portal/joywithkendall