Living Out Loud & Modern Queer Dating | Michele Flamer

<p>What happens when you step out of an 18-year marriage into a modern dating scene you haven&#39;t navigated since your 20s, and how do you find a deep, slow-paced, and conscious connection in a world dominated by dating apps?</p><p>In this episode of Love, Laughs &amp; Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with entrepreneur, advocate, and host of the Living Out Loud podcast Michele Flamer to discuss modern queer relationships, midlife dating, and what it truly means to live out loud.</p><p>Drawing from her own transition out of an 18-year marriage, Michele shares how she bypassed dating apps, worked with a shaman and a therapist for four years, and ultimately met her current partner, Liz, via TikTok DMs. Together, they dive into the mechanics of their long-distance relationship between Phoenix and San Diego, co-parenting their 14-year-old daughter like &quot;rock stars,&quot; and how they use intentional tools like video messaging and relationship-building games to grow closer every day.</p><p>The conversation explores what it means to be demisexual—needing an intellectual and emotional spark before a physical one—and how midlife dating in your 50s shifts your perspective on what is truly desirable. Michele unpacks why she warns against the &quot;U-Haul effect,&quot; why a partner&#39;s lack of friends is a significant warning sign, and how speaking up from your &quot;throat chakra&quot; to state exactly what you need is the ultimate green flag for a lasting relationship.</p><p><strong>What You&#39;ll Learn</strong></p><p>Why chasing butterflies and intense early chemistry is often a sign of trauma-bonding, and why we should look for a calm, stable &quot;steady f*** yes&quot; connection instead.</p><p>How to heal your throat chakra by expressing your boundaries, fears, and deal-breakers openly, and why collecting data early on prevents dating fatigue.</p><p>What it means to be demisexual in the modern dating landscape, and why establishing a deep cerebral connection is the ultimate foreplay.</p><p>Why having no friends is a significant relational red flag, and what healthy friendships teach us about our capacity for romantic partnership.</p><p>Practical ways to use intimacy tools like the &quot;We&#39;re Not Really Strangers&quot; card deck to take the pressure off first dates and facilitate deep, authentic connection.</p><p><strong>Guest Bio: Michele Flamer</strong></p><p>Michele Flamer is a mother, entrepreneur, advocate, and lifelong connector with decades of experience in sales and leadership. She is the host of the Living Out Loud podcast and the co-founder of Relationship Ready Lesbians, an upcoming workshop curriculum designed to help women navigate midlife dating, build relational skills, and step into intentional connection. Grounded in her own journey of self-reflection and healing, Michele is passionate about helping people stop editing themselves down for the comfort of others and start showing up exactly as they are.</p><p><br></p><p>Connect with Michele FlamerInstagram &amp; TikTok: @relationshipreadylesbiansPodcast: Living Out Loud<em>(Note: Listeners can follow her social channels to join the waitlist for her upcoming &quot;Relationship Ready Lesbians&quot; workshop series!)</em><br></p>