99. The maternal assertiveness we all need

I recorded this episode in real time, mid-struggle with a whole lot of pain following a tooth extraction that turned into a bigger deal than expected. What went down with my aunt around my pain led to this unscripted look at what happens when someone else steps in with "maternal assertiveness" - and how it’s so important for all women/daughters, no matter how old we are.

In This Episode

The backstory: a routine tooth extraction, a family trip, and pain that got worse instead of betterWhat happened when Sarah's aunt and uncle stepped in — and why it hit so differently than she expectedFierce compassion: the "mama bear" side of compassion, and why it matters as much as the tender sideThe mother bucket — the container only your mom was ever supposed to fill, and what happens when she can'tHow we unconsciously try to fill that hole (numbing, scrolling, overworking, other people) — and the one person who can actually fill itWhy receiving maternal assertiveness from unexpected sources — an aunt, a friend, even a stranger on a plane — is allowed, and healingA full-circle moment with her daughter, who needed to be truly heard in her own painAn invitation: if you carry this gaping hole, you are not alone — and there are ways to start filling it

Quotable Moments

"There's two sides of compassion. There's tender and there's fierce. Tender is the loving, nurturing type of compassion. Fierce is that more mama bear, like, 'Uh-uh. Nope. Like, this is not okay. You need to get help.'"

"That just because we may not have a mother who is capable, able, available to offer that for us doesn't mean that we still, A, don't need it, and B, can't get it."

"The next best person to provide that, to fill that mothering bucket, is you. It is you."

Mentioned in This Episode

Aunt Melissa — the "fierce compassion" presence at the center of this episodeJamie and Emily from NAPS / Nurture by NAPS — the prenatal and postpartum support team Sarah credits for teaching her assertiveness years ago: https://www.nurturebynaps.com/

Connect With Sarah

Self-awareness Trap: https://theschoolofmom.com/trapJoin the WAITLIST: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistSend Sarah a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!