390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags

Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.)

The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic the outputs of real love, things like attention, certainty, and devotion, without including any of the inputs, things like time, consistency, and being actually known. So today I’m walking you through eight specific behaviors that consistently get mistaken for green flags, plus one tool, the Pace Test, that does the work of all of them at once. You’re going to leave with a real radar for this.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/red-flags-look-like-green-flags

Free Download: Is This a Green Flag or Just a Fast Flag?: A Quick Self-Check for Early Dating. Use this tool the next time you’re in early dating, or to look back honestly at a past relationship and see what you might have been picking up on: https://abbymedcalf.com/green-flag-fast-flag

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