Ep 28: How Getting Sober Made Jay Vincent the Father He Never Had

What does it take to become the father you never had? Jay Vincent joins me for one of the most honest conversations we've had on the show. Jay grew up idolizing a dad who slid into alcoholism and walked out when Jay was 15, and for years Jay repeated the pattern, through addiction, two DUIs, and the day he came home to an empty house after his kids' mother left. This is the story of how he climbed back.

In this episode: how childhood shapes the dads we become, breaking a generational cycle of addiction, the night everything changed, getting sober and staying sober for 14 years, rebuilding trust with kids who barely knew him, parenting traumatized teenagers, and why doing the inner work is the real job of fatherhood.

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00:00 A hard-won lesson: kids absorb everything

00:29 Meet Jay Vincent, girl dad

02:03 Becoming a girl dad

05:44 Jay's childhood and his father

09:33 When a hero slides into alcoholism

10:53 The dad who left at 15

12:01 An angry teenager finds the dark side

14:00 Five miscarriages and the road to Kirsten