Chef Anthony Santos: What I Survived Didn't Define Me

Content Advisory: This episode contains a candid conversation about childhood abuse, domestic violence, trauma, and a past suicide attempt. Some listeners may find portions of this discussion difficult. Listener discretion is advised.

For the first time publicly, Chef Anthony Santos tells the story behind the man and chef he has become.

Anthony grew up in a home marked by years of physical and emotional abuse. As a child, he stepped between his stepfather and his mother and younger siblings, often becoming the target himself. The violence eventually escalated to an attack with a machete. At 15, Anthony left home, at one point sleeping outside in the rain with nowhere safe to go.

Food became an unexpected way forward.

After seeing the joy his uncle's cooking brought to his mother, Anthony began to understand food as something more than a meal—it could bring comfort, connection and, even briefly, a sense of safety. That realization eventually led a teenage Anthony, soaked from walking through the rain, through the doors of a Chinese restaurant looking for work.

In this deeply personal conversation, Anthony talks about surviving abuse, leaving home, mental health, therapy, faith, the lasting effects of trauma and the relentless drive that helped shape his career. He also shares what he would tell a young person living through abuse today and why he believes what happened to him can be part of his story without becoming his identity.

From the WITM kitchen: Anthony prepared a charred Spanish octopus inspired by his Portuguese roots, followed by a Wagyu ribeye with Japanese purple sweet potato, charred broccolini and a red wine truffle sauce finished with 24-karat gold. The sweet potato incorporated butter, black garlic, fresh garlic and Maldon smoked sea salt, creating layers of sweet, savory, smoky and umami flavor.

Today, Anthony Santos is a private chef, entrepreneur, mentor and culinary competitor. But this isn't simply a story about becoming a chef.

It's a story about survival, purpose, faith and what one person chose to build from what he endured.

Takeaways Survival is part of Anthony's story—not his identity. He speaks openly about nine years of abuse and the long process of separating who he is today from what happened to him as a child. At 15, he chose to get out. Anthony worked multiple jobs, stayed with friends and began building a life outside the home he had grown up in. Food represented something violence couldn't. Watching his uncle cook and seeing his mother smile gave Anthony an early realization that food could create joy, comfort and connection. As he says, cooking looked like a "superpower." The trauma didn't disappear when the abuse ended. Anthony discusses therapy, triggers, relationships, anger, fight-or-flight and the years it took to understand how childhood trauma continued affecting his adult life. His drive and his trauma are connected. When asked how much of the ambition people see in him comes from what he survived, Anthony's answer is striking: "all of it." Faith wasn't a straight line. Anthony speaks candidly about being angry with God as a child, losing his faith and eventually returning to it with a very different understanding of what he survived. His definition of success has changed. After cooking for celebrities, millionaires and billionaires and building a successful career, Anthony says his real pursuit isn't money or possessions—it's a peaceful, purposeful and happy life. He's turning experience into mentorship. Anthony now mentors other chefs, including helping private chefs build sustainable careers, giving him another avenue to pour into people in ways he didn't experience growing up. He speaks directly to young people experiencing abuse. One of the episode's most important moments is Anthony explaining what he wishes he had known as a teenager: tell someone capable of actually helping, seek professional support, prepare for independence and understand that abuse does not determi