Everything’s Perfect Except… Donald Wants His Nipples Pierced

Donald is apparently entering his midlife crisis era, and his first order of business might be… nipple piercings. Autumn votes absolutely not.

From there, Autumn and Donald break down the 2026 trends they’re seeing everywhere — including the death of quiet luxury, the return of early-2000s fashion they already survived once, capris and pedal pushers making an unexpected comeback, polka dots spotted in the wild at Catch LA, texture replacing logos, and the loafers-with-athletic-shorts look Donald cannot stop thinking about.

They also revisit some of their own questionable fashion eras: Donald’s brightly colored skinny jeans from his Anthem Lights touring days, Autumn’s unforgettable sixth-grade back-to-school outfit, Hot Topic stage clothes that looked much better under concert lighting, bricked bangs, Aqua Net, Von Dutch, overalls, and the eternal question of whether you’re actually cool enough to pull off a trend.

Donald opens up about how changing his body has changed the way he dresses, why a few guys at Planet Fitness inspired a hair transformation, and why sometimes the best style advice is simply to stop dressing for everyone else.

Then they move into the 2026 food and drink trends: mini everything, tiny indulgences, tasting-size desserts, luxury versions of nostalgic childhood treats, gourmet Pop-Tarts, premium s’mores, personalized drink rituals — and Donald may have accidentally come up with a Good Mood Brew collab idea in the process.

And naturally, things eventually go completely off the rails.

Nipple piercings lead to Prince Alberts, Jacob’s Ladders, Autumn’s college tongue piercing and the ballet master who was less than impressed, Donald’s septum piercing repeatedly hitting his gums while singing at church, nose piercings that seem to heal over in five minutes, and Kenny branding himself with a hot penny because he thought the president’s face would appear on his skin.

It did not.

Just another perfectly normal episode of Everything’s Perfect.

🎙 KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS

0:00 — Donald’s midlife crisis era: Should he pierce his nipples?

1:00 — Dinner at Catch LA and dogs in suits holding martinis