The Secret Lives of Christian Wives

The Dishwasher Dig

Several years ago, a houseguest complimented me on my dishwasher loading. At first, I was flattered: yes, I am very efficient at loading the dishwasher and probably everyone else in this house could take a page from my book!!!

But then he said, “It makes sense [that you’re good at it.] The dishwasher is your domain.”

He meant this as a compliment (I think???) but it was one of those sentences that rattled through my brain with a nefarious clang:

your domain is the dishwasher

your domain is the dishwasher

your domain is the dishwasher

Was the subtext, “stay in the kitchen, that’s where women belong”? I didn’t want to think this person saw me that way, but I wondered. This offhand comment had me spiraling into self-doubt and wondering how others saw me.

Don’t get me wrong; washing dishes is a vital (and often overlooked) task. But I doubt anyone wants to think of it as their life’s work.

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Ladies: Don’t Forget to Live, Laugh, Love!

This memory came back to me as I began reading Kristin Kobes Du Mez’s latest book, Live Laugh Love: The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World They Made. In it, Du Mez traces the evolution of white Evangelical women’s culture, starting in the late 19th century and continuing to the present, up to and including Erica Kirk.