The Difference Between "I Need You" and "Come With Me" | Summer Special

<p>Part of the House of Peregrine Summer Series,  shorter clips drawn from our favourite episodes, for those in-between moments when you want wisdom without the full sit-down.</p><p>In this clip, depth psychotherapist and author Vanessa Bennett, of <em>The Motherhood Myth</em> and the <em>Cheaper Than Therapy</em> podcast, unpacks one of the most quietly corrosive patterns in our relationships: codependence. Her definition is disarmingly simple,  &quot;if you&#39;re good, I&#39;m good; if you&#39;re not good, I&#39;m not good&quot;, a sense of self located entirely outside yourself. Mickelle and Vanessa trace how we learn it, from people-pleasing and passive-aggression to the fear of abandonment underneath, and why the financial system can quietly force it, especially on women.</p><p>Then comes the turn: interdependence. Not hyper-independence, but two sovereign people relating without needing the other to change in order to feel okay. It&#39;s a reframe with real stakes for anyone building a life with a partner,  especially couples navigating the identity upheaval of moving abroad and it rests on the deepest work of all: trusting that, no matter what, you will be okay.</p><p>Connect with Vanessa Bennett at vanessabennett.com. Produced December 2025.</p><p>Listen to the full conversation:<a href="https://www.houseofperegrine.com/podcast/ep-085"><u> https://www.houseofperegrine.com/podcast/ep-085</u></a></p><p>House of Peregrine is the network for International life, made by and for people living abroad.  </p><p>Get started with a FREE account today to unlock exclusive content, connections, and opportunities:</p><p><a href="http://houseofperegrine.com/auth/signup"><u>houseofperegrine.com/auth/signup</u></a></p><p>Join a global circle of thinkers, creators, and doers. We host events, build products, publish guides, run a podcast, offer rewards and curated products — all within a vibrant ecosystem of experts and businesses to support your life abroad.</p><p>Subscribe: <a href="http://houseofperegrine.com/subscribe"><u>houseofperegrine.com/subscribe</u></a></p><p>Join our WhatsApp Group: <a href="https://chat.whatsapp.com/JbiLJjKqpntGhzzeGap30N"><u>HOP Community</u></a></p><p>Explore Memberships: <a href="http://houseofperegrine.com/memberships"><u>houseofperegrine.com/memberships</u></a></p><p>Install the App: <a href="http://houseofperegrine.com/install"><u>houseofperegrine.com/install</u></a></p><p>Follow us for daily inspiration and updates:</p><p>Instagra