S5:E28 - Alex, A & Ollie

From the Very First Try to Six Months In

Some women come to this decision with a clear plan. Alex came with a deadline: if I'm still single at 30, I'm doing it on my own. She hit 30. She went to Bali to celebrate. She came home and got her AMH checked.

It was on the lower end of normal. That was enough.

What followed was three years, a recruited known donor in Victoria, two early miscarriages, a laparoscopy that found stage two endometriosis she never knew she had, multiple egg retrievals across a bulk bill IVF clinic in Queensland and then their full service program, unexplained implantation failure, a double embryo transfer that finally worked, and a pregnancy spent anxious and cautiously hopeful. All while working full time in a state manager role in child protection — and parenting a 16-year-old foster daughter who has lived with her for the past three years.

Ollie was born on the 23rd of January via planned caesarean — except the plan didn't go to plan. Nineteen attempts between the cannula and the spinal tap, a previous spinal surgery that made anaesthesia almost impossible, a general anaesthetic she didn't want, and a best friend waiting outside the theatre. He was out and detached from the anaesthetic in under four minutes. He had some trouble breathing, went briefly to special care, and eventually came up to Alex's room that night.

He is now six and a half months old. He has a cow's milk protein allergy requiring prescription formula. He has been to Canberra, Bali and Darwin and is heading to Europe next month. He sleeps through the night. He gets his morning cuddle from his big sister before he's even properly awake. And Alex calls him a unicorn.

This is a two-part episode — Part 1 covers the journey to 25 weeks pregnant, Part 2 picks up from birth to now.

In this episode:

Working in child protection and becoming respite carer to two children at 21

Her 16-year-old foster daughter who now lives with her full-time — and the younger one who comes every fortnight

Deciding at 30 to stop waiting — AMH results, initial fertility investigations, and the decision to try a recruited known donor first

Finding her donor on Facebook: the legal agreement, the counselling, the interstate coordination, and why doing it properly mattered