Quick Spoon: What would you say no to if you cared about yourself?

We often think of boundaries as something we put in place to manage other people's demands.

But what if a boundary is actually an act of compassion towards ourselves?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super describes boundary setting as a “radical act of self-compassion”.

She talks about including ourselves in our own circle of compassion, rather than trying to be all things to all people and paying the price ourselves.

Ross also brings in the idea of fierce self-compassion: sometimes compassion isn't about being softer. Sometimes it's about being firmer, protecting ourselves and saying no when we need to.

Here's something to try:

Think of something you're doing that's costing you more than you can afford to give.

Ask yourself:

“If I genuinely cared about myself here, what would I say no to?”

And then notice what gets in the way.

A short reflection from Ross's conversation with Dr Amanda Super about self-compassion, ambition, boundaries, recovery and being human at work.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.