Ep 80. Grief Sabbatical, “Sad” Hours, Performance Pressure and More with Rebecca Feinglos

⚠️Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of death, divorce and postpartum depression. Listener discretion is advised.

We don’t know how to allow grief in our modern society.

You can keep achieving, stay productive, and appear completely fine, but that does not mean you are not grieving.

In this deeply honest conversation, Dr. Amna Shabbir sits down with certified grief support specialist and Grieve Leave founder Rebecca Feinglos to explore why high achievers often feel they are not allowed to pause, fall apart, or acknowledge loss.

Rebecca explains that grief is not limited to death. It can accompany divorce, illness, career changes, identity shifts, graduation, motherhood, and even positive life transitions. She shares how losing both of her parents, ending her marriage, and stepping away from work for a year forced her to stop trying to outperform her pain and finally make space for it.

Together, Dr. Shabbir and Rebecca examine the powerful intersection between grief and perfectionism, including the pressure to appear strong, grieve “correctly,” and return to normal as quickly as possible. Rebecca also offers practical advice for supporting someone through loss, from what to say instead of “everything will be okay” to why specific offers of help are more valuable than “let me know if you need anything.”

This conversation is a compassionate reminder that grief is not weakness, sadness is not its only expression, and healing does not require you to leave your loss behind.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why grief can arise from any meaningful loss or life transitionHow high achievement and perfectionism can become forms of emotional avoidanceWhy there is no correct timeline or “right” way to grieveWhat not to say to someone experiencing lossHow to offer practical, specific support instead of placing the burden on the grieving personWhy checking in months or years later can be more meaningful than reaching out only during the immediate aftermathHow accepting grief can create more authenticity, connection, and emotional freedom

About Rebecca Feinglos

Rebecca Feinglos is a certified grief support specialist, founder of Grieve Leave, and host of the podcast Grief’d Up. After losing her mother as a teenager, her father suddenly in 2020, and her marriage in a drawn-out divorce, Rebecca took a year-long “grief sabbatical” — a journey that sparked a global community helping thousands make space for loss with honesty, humor, and practical support.

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