What AuDHD Masking Feels Like in My Body

<p>There&#39;s a certain tension that comes up. A wall. An invisible force field around my body, my brain, my mind, that I can&#39;t move past no matter how much I want to.</p><p>That&#39;s what masking actually feels like for me, not as a concept, but as a physical sensation. In this episode I break down what masking actually is, where it started for me, and what it took to finally start recognizing it happening in real time.</p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/4qHKhqc" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Drawing on Dr. Megan Anna Neff&#39;s work in the Autistic Burnout Workbook</a>, I walk through the different forms masking takes, scripting, mimicking, assimilation, camouflage, code-switching, excessive helpfulness, and how each one shows up for me specifically. I get into where this started as a kid, why I built a different persona for every room I walked into, and how switching between those personas has come to feel like regenerating into a new person every time, the way the Doctor does in Doctor Who.</p><p>Then I get into the part I most wanted to talk about, what masking actually feels like in my body. The tension. The wall. What I can only describe as shields going up. And why recognizing that sensation, even before I could name it, changed how I handle it.</p><p>I also talk through what an actual unmasking plan looks like for me, why I can only fully unmask alone, and why recovery isn&#39;t about getting back to who you were before, it&#39;s about getting somewhere healthier than that ever was.</p><p>Resources mentioned on play and AuDHD Burnout:</p><p>What does Play look/feel like for an adult from AtsedeScarseth AuDHD Therapist:<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894691077950751">https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894691077950751</a><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894019267857695">https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894019267857695</a>The direct line from masking to AuDHD burnout<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loz1viIIB9U">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loz1viIIB9U</a></p><p><br></p><p>Wondering how to manage you needs at work as a late-diagnosed <a href="https://payhip.com/b/IGXHn" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">AuDhd, ADHD or Autistic adult? Check out my Drains and Sparks Workplace Workbook.</a></p><p>A video version of this episode, with chapters, is also up on YouTube if you&#39;d rather watch. I&#39;m starting a series on Substack going deeper into unmasking, link in the show notes if you want to follow along.</p><p>I offer workplace talks and coaching for organizations and professionals navigating autism, ADHD, and AuDHD at work, especially for managers and HR teams. Reach out through my website if that&#39;s something you need.</p>