Your Standards Aren't Too High—But They Might Be Wrong (Ep 112)

Are Your Dating Standards Too High—or Are You Protecting What Matters?Should women lower their standards to find love?

I think we're asking the wrong question.

The real question is whether the things on your relationship checklist are truly standards—or whether some of them are preferences, expectations, or even fantasies we've mistaken for requirements.

In this episode of The Secret Formula of Femininity, licensed psychologist Dr. Nicole Monteiro breaks down the difference between high standards and unrealistic expectations in dating and relationships.

And no—this isn't another conversation telling successful women they're “too picky.”

Instead, we're getting much more specific about what actually helps create a healthy, lasting relationship.

You'll learn:

The difference between a standard, an important quality, a preference, and a fantasyWhy having high standards isn't necessarily the problemHow to tell whether you're being selective or unrealisticThe difference between settling and being flexibleWhy chemistry and compatibility aren't always the same thingHow past experiences can influence what we put on our dating listsWhy income, education, height, status, and lifestyle may carry deeper psychological meaningThe qualities that actually matter when you're trying to build healthy loveHow to conduct your own Dating Standards AuditOne of the most important distinctions in this episode:

Settling is abandoning a standard. Flexibility is reconsidering a preference.

Those are NOT the same thing.

📝 TRY THE STANDARDS AUDITTake your top relationship requirements and categorize each one:

E — Essential