E 384: Tammys Takes #52 Are You Still Waiting for Them to Change Before You Can Heal?

What if the relationship you keep trying to fix isn’t the relationship you actually have—but the relationship you’ve spent years hoping it could become?

After my conversation with Dr. Sharon Martin about family estrangement, boundaries, guilt, and healing, I wanted to dig deeper into something many adult children of dysfunctional families struggle with: the hope that maybe this time, they’ll finally change.

Maybe they’ll understand. Maybe they’ll acknowledge what happened. Maybe you’ll finally have the relationship you always wanted.

But at some point, healing may require a different question:

Am I dealing with the relationship I actually have, or am I still waiting for the relationship I always needed?

In this Tammy’s Take, we talk about what acceptance really means, grieving what you never received, and why feeling guilty doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong.

Most importantly, we shift the focus away from “How do I get them to change?” and back toward the question you actually have some control over:

What do I need now?

You don't have to make a huge decision today. You don't have to decide whether to stay, leave, forgive, reconnect, or create distance.

You can start by seeing the relationship clearly—and listening to yourself.

If you're recognizing that you've spent years trying to change relationships you cannot change by yourself, book a complimentary Clarity & Calm Call with Tammy and start identifying what you need to move forward.

Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.