
← Divorce Dialogues1 oct. · 28 min
How To Set Boundaries With A High Conflict Ex | Deborah Wilder
What if the same advice that helps most couples divorce well is exactly what keeps you stuck with a difficult one?
In this episode, Dr. Deborah Wilder, a licensed psychologist, divorce mediator, and Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician at the Center for Therapy and Mediation, breaks down how emotional abuse and coercive control change the rules of divorce, and how to tell the difference between a hard marriage and a harmful one.
Deborah walks through the warning signs your body picks up before your mind does, why compromise can backfire with a high-conflict ex, and a simple communication tool to protect your energy without escalating the fight.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to tell the difference between normal conflict and coercive control;Why gaslighting makes you question your own reality;The BIFF method for communicating with a difficult ex; andHow to protect your kids without disparaging the other parent
Highlights:
(00:00) Meet Dr. Deborah Wilder
(03:19) What Actually Defines A High-Conflict Divorce
(07:43) The Body's Early Warning Signs Of Abuse
(08:37) Why Gaslighting Works
(11:09) Common Traits Of A Narcissistic Partner
(13:55) Isolation, Financial Abuse, And Control Tactics