BRISTOL CITY v WATFORD | THE OPPOSITION VIEW

Watford head to Bristol City after a Stoke performance where the hospitality was excellent, the company delightful and unfortunately somebody eventually produced a football. We revisit Amin Nabizada’s latest ridiculous finish, a midfield currently available in travel size only, and the continuing debate over what constitutes criticism, analysis or simply shouting at a screen while repeatedly asking why nobody has tracked the runner.

Then old friend Dave interrupts his Ibiza holiday — without either clarinet or trumpet, mercifully denying the Balearics an international incident — to explain a rather more optimistic Bristol City. There’s Michael Skubala, increased investment, 11 new signings, a three-year project and actual squad depth. Essentially, Dave describes several concepts Watford supporters may wish to Google before listening.

Finally, the Completely Rubbish Prediction League reaches territory even we hadn’t anticipated. Religion becomes involved. Then breasts. Dice Dons seek divine assistance, the Gods of Backgammon abandon conventional statistical modelling altogether, ChatGPT is forced to investigate human nipple-to-breast ratios, and listeners are invited to rescue the entire enterprise by writing to DNSYE Towers, Watford, Hertfordshire, WD0 DEAR. Football predictions may also occur.

COYH!!

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