Building a Conflict-Capable Organization with Jeff Lay

In episode 268, Coffey talks with Jeff Lay about what it means to build a conflict-capable organization, why artificial harmony is more dangerous than open disagreement, and how leaders can develop the skills and culture needed to handle difficult conversations before they become expensive problems.

–  HRSOUTHWEST  October 11-13, 2026 –

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They discuss the concept of a conflict-capable organization as an alternative to the unrealistic goal of conflict elimination; the conflict incubator — how childhood environments and previous workplaces shape an individual's default conflict behaviors; artificial harmony versus genuine trust, and why silence in a meeting rarely signals agreement; the financial cost of unresolved conflict, including disengagement losses that don't show up on a P&L but function like money thrown in a fire; becoming fluent in the language of small things — addressing friction early before emotions escalate into "you always" and "you never" conversations; how a leader's response to the first person who raises conflict determines whether anyone ever raises it again; the challenge of coaching up when the conflict source is the leader themselves, and how HR can build the relational runway to do it; social media, generational change, remote work, and AI as compounding forces making productive conflict harder to navigate; emotional intelligence, humility, and curiosity as foundational leadership skills for conflict resolution; and the CURVE framework — cared for, understood, respected, valued, and empowered — as a diagnostic for organizational health.

For HR teams who discuss this podcast in their team meetings, we've created a discussion starter PDF to help guide your conversation. Download it here https://goodmorninghr.com/EP268

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About our Guest:

Jeff Lay is the Founder of The People Curve, a leadership and conflict resolut