How to Protect Your Kids From Predators & Grooming: A Survivor's Guide for Parents with Mandi Pagliarini | #185

How do you talk to your kids about body safety without scaring them? And how do you actually keep them safe? In this episode, we're joined by Mandi Pagliarini (@MandiTalksPredators), a writer, speaker, educator, and mother of two. Mandi is a survivor of sexual assault and child trafficking, and her advocacy focuses on prevention and harm reduction. She gives parents survivor-informed education about grooming and how predators operate.

Mandi explains why body safety should be an ongoing series of small conversations, like the way you teach manners, instead of one big talk. She also covers why the words you choose matter: say "share" instead of "tell," and leave out "hurt" and "abuse." She shares her "even if" statements, which let kids know they can come to you no matter who is involved or how the experience felt. We also talk about why boys may be more at risk than we realize, why teaching kids to "say no and fight back" often fails because of the freeze response, and what to teach them instead.

We also get into how grooming really works. Predators often groom the parents as well as the child, and they play a long game. Mandi walks through red flags to watch for, like an adult seeking time alone with your child or your child suddenly talking about one adult all the time. She shares practical steps for reducing risk, including open-door playdates, never leaving a child alone with an adult, and avoiding sleepovers. She also talks about how to stay body-positive with little ones without creating shame.

Mandi also shares parts of her own story, and why emotional regulation is the foundation that makes kids feel safe enough to come to you.

00:00 Trailer & Intro

02:00 Welcome Mandi Pagliarini

04:29 Why Body Safety Matters Today

06:30 Why Boys May Be More at Risk

09:17 Who Abusers Really Are

10:00 Small Talks, Not "The Big Talk"

11:30 Playdate Reminders

12:14 Risk Mitigation for Playdates