Is Being a Mom Enough? (Mom Guilt, Gentle Parenting, and Why "Breast Is Best" Has to Go — with Dr. Sanam Shamtobi)

Dr. S is back, you guys, and thank god, because you have all been taking my unhinged advice for months now and I am not qualified to give it. She showed up with barely a voice — her toddler had been in school for approximately two days and already brought something home — which is honestly the exact energy this episode needed. My son did the same thing to me. Two moms, both sick, both in it, finally handing you over to an actual expert.

I asked her the question I have been chewing on for months: is being a mom enough for me? Because some days I never want to leave my kids and I just want to be home with them, and other days I need something that is mine, and the guilt shows up either way. What she said about guilt — that the feeling itself isn't the problem, letting it drive every single decision is — rearranged something in my head. We also got into whether motherhood counts as a job at all (she has thoughts), why none of us have a village anymore, the toy rotation on Instagram that sent her into a spiral, and her hot take on gentle parenting, which involves a dad, an eight-year-old named Jimmy, a pond, and a turtle nobody did anything about.

And then producer Jess took the mic, and I am so glad she did. When Dr. S said she cannot stand "breast is best," Jess shared what it was like to hear that while her daughter was in the NICU for seven weeks and her milk never came in. Fed is best. That is the whole thing.

In this episode we get real about:

Is being a mom enough?

Why getting rid of mom guilt isn't actually the goal, and what to do with it instead

The belief behind why motherhood somehow isn't "a job" until you're paying someone else to do it

Her hot take on gentle parenting, 

The physical tells that you're spiraling, and the body scan that catches it before the whole day is gone

Producer Jess on the NICU, formula, and what "breast is best" cost her that it never should have

Momma, if you have ever loved being home with them and quietly needed something that was just yours, both of those are true at the same time. Neither one cancels the other out. Thank god it's not just us.

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