How to Disappoint Others (Ep. 39)

Because this podcast is called How to Be an Adult, and we take our promises seriously, you will never see us release an episode titled “How to Never Disappoint Others” or “How to Avoid Criticism.” In this episode, Luke Chao talks about how to disappoint others in a principled manner:

Disappointment results from an internal mental mismatch between a person’s expectations and reality; it does not exist in the external world.

Living an authentic life and pursuing creative or entrepreneurial goals inevitably leads to disappointing some people due to the diversity of opinions and values.

It is impossible to be universally liked, and trying to avoid disappointing others often results in personal resentment, bitterness, or the betrayal of one’s own principles.

Individuals should be the primary authority over their own lives, as they are best positioned to know their own constraints, needs, and capabilities.

Saying ‘no’ to others does not require extensive justification or a watertight argument; a simple, direct refusal is sufficient to maintain personal boundaries.

When facing disappointment, criticism or even anger from others, you should consider whether you have failed a moral principle; if you are acting in alignment with your personal values, it is not an error.

The only person you truly cannot afford to disappoint is yourself, since you are the only individual you are guaranteed to live with for your entire life.

Table of Contents

0:00 – Introduction

4:27 – Adulthood Requires Disappointing Others Sometimes

13:06 – No Is a Complete Answer