"God Forgave Me, Why Can't You?" (The Theology That Dodges Accountability)

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comPre-order our book, Overcoming Infidelity, TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497"He tells me he has no guilt, because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." A wife married over 30 years wrote in with a question we hear far more often than people realize: what do you do when your spouse uses God, grace, and Scripture to avoid ever changing?We read her letter in full and take it apart piece by piece. She describes a husband raised in a home where every night of harm was followed by "today is a new day," and she's watching that same pattern play out in her own marriage. We talk about why the language we use for repeated harm matters so much, and the one question you can ask a trusted friend to find out if you've been softening your own reality for years.Then Carl takes on Romans 8 directly. What does "no condemnation" actually promise, and what does it absolutely not give anyone permission to do? Laura shares why it took her three years to say certain words to Carl, and what forgiveness should never produce in the person who was hurt.Stay for the "coughing up blood" illustration about acclimating to dysfunction, the family system with a reset button but no repair button, Laura's breakdown of what forgiveness is not, and the one question that exposes what your theology is really producing.If you've ever heard "God forgave me, why can't you?" from someone who never changed, this one is for you. And if you don't share our faith, swap in whatever you believe deeply. The pattern is the same.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

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