Pet Loss, Natural Dying, and Discovering Another Way to Say Goodbye

What happens when a beloved pet is dying—and you discover that some of the choices you thought were simply “what happens next” may not be your only choices at all?

For Dr. Alice Kay Lovelace, D.Min., that discovery didn't happen all at once.

It grew out of a lifetime of loving animals, losing them, asking spiritual questions, learning from the animals who shared her life, and gradually finding a different way to understand dying, death, grief, and the relationship that remains.

In this first of three conversations, Alice takes us back to where that journey began: the death of her puppy Pixie when she was seven. That loss awakened questions about prayer, God, death, and spiritual connection that would stay with her for decades.

Eventually, those questions—and the animals and people who became her teachers—led Alice into ministry, Reiki, animal chaplaincy, pet loss grief support, and animal hospice.

And then came Rupert.

When Rupert began dying naturally at home, Alice and her husband, David, chose to remain with him. But after he died, they confronted a question for which they had never really prepared:

What do we do now?

They had always followed the familiar next steps after a pet died. Until that moment, they hadn't realized there might be other possibilities.

A later conversation with BrightHaven founder Gail Pope introduced Alice to BrightHaven's practice of spending extended time honoring an animal's body after death.

A door had opened.

But discovering that another choice exists and being ready to make that choice are not necessarily the same thing.