Keeping Them Close After Death: Pet Loss Rituals at Home

How One Family Creates Rituals to Honor Their Pets at Home

What might it look like to honor a beloved pet at home after death?

After her cat Rupert died, Dr. Alice Kay Lovelace, D.Min., found herself wishing she could have kept his body with her longer. She simply hadn't known that was something a family could do.

Then Gail Pope told Alice about the way BrightHaven had honored sanctuary animals at home after death for many years. Learning about BrightHaven's experience expanded Alice's sense of what was possible and eventually gave her and her husband, David, the courage to try it themselves.

But Alice didn't simply recreate BrightHaven's rituals. She began developing rituals that felt right for her own animals and family.

In this second episode of our conversation with Alice, she takes us inside those rituals. She describes creating an honoring basket, selecting special fabrics and meaningful objects, tenderly wrapping the body, and caring for her pet's body with ice while it remains at home.

She also talks about allowing the other cats to approach and spend time with their companion after death—and about what she has observed as they come, go, and sometimes return.

In many ways, Alice and David have created their own kind of home wake for their pets: a quiet period when the animal remains physically present with the family before leaving home for cremation.

But Alice's rituals aren't a prescription for anyone else.

Even after learning that keeping a pet at home after death was possible, Alice wasn't ready to make that choice with the first animal she lost. And there is no required amount of time, particular ritual, or single "right" way to say goodbye.

Instead, Alice's story offers something much more personal: an invitation to discover what might feel meaningful for you, your family, and the animal you love.

As Alice explains, ritual can help transform grief into gratitude.