Back by Popular Demand: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most meaningful and foundational conversations in Securely Attached history.

Many parents worry that if they didn't experience a secure attachment in their own childhood, they'll unknowingly repeat those same patterns with their children. But one of the most hopeful findings in attachment research is that our past does not have to determine our children's future.

In this conversation, I sit down with renowned attachment researcher Dr. Miriam Steele to explore how secure attachment develops, how insecure attachment patterns are passed from one generation to the next, and, most importantly, how we can break those cycles.

Together we discuss:

What secure and insecure attachment really mean, and some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding attachment theory.

How children develop different attachment strategies in response to their early caregiving experiences.

Why secure attachment is built through consistent responsiveness, not perfect parenting.

The surprising research showing that parents don't need to be attuned all the time for children to develop secure attachment.

What reflective functioning is and how it helps parents interrupt intergenerational cycles of insecure attachment.

Why understanding your own childhood experiences can transform the way you parent your children.

The difference between attachment science and popular "attachment parenting."

Why repair matters more than getting it right every time.