Why You Sabotage the Closeness You Want Most: Attachment, Intimacy, and the Fear of Being Known

Why does the thing we long for most (real closeness, being truly seen) so often make us want to run? In this solo episode, Vanessa unpacks what happens in the nervous system when connection starts to feel unsafe, drawing on attachment theory, polyvagal theory, and depth psychology to explain the shutdown, the merge, and everything in between. She traces how early relational wounds get encoded in the body long before they show up as adult patterns, and offers a simple, uncomfortable practice for rewriting them: saying the true thing, especially when it's the hardest thing to say. This is depth work on what it actually takes to stay present in your own skin while someone else gets close.For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.Additional ResourcesExplore: VanessaBennett.comBook: The Motherhood MythCommunity: Inner Compass CollectiveTraining: Inner Compass AcademyConnect with Inner CompassFollow on InstagramConnect with Vanessa Bennett:Follow on InstagramFollow on TikTokLearn more on SubstackConnect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn

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