Elif Shafak: “All I wanted from my father was an apology”

What happens when a parent is absent from your childhood, and how does that shape the person you become?

Bestselling author Elif Shafak joins Julia Samuel to explore her relationship with her father, the loneliness she experienced growing up and how storytelling became a tool for personal growth and mental health recovery by helping her find connection and belonging. Raised largely by her grandmother and mother in Turkey, Elif grew up surrounded by strong women but with very little contact with her father. She opens up about the pain of discovering that he had been a present and loving parent to her half-brothers, the anger that followed and how those early experiences influenced her personal growth and instinct to write about people whose voices have been forgotten or silenced.

They also explore the emotional cost of Elif Shafak's prosecution in Turkey following the publication of her novel, The Bastard of Istanbul, her complicated relationship with her homeland and the sense of grief that can accompany living between cultures. Elif speaks candidly about her mental health and experiencing postnatal depression, losing her ability to write during that period and the challenges of navigating motherhood alongside her creative identity, experiences she later explored in her memoir Black Milk.

Elif Shafak reflects on the family patterns we inherit, why literature helps personal growth by helping us understand ourselves and others, and the importance of human connection in an increasingly anxious and divided world.

Elif Shafak’s new novel is In One Brief Moment All Eternity (published on 15 Oct).

If you enjoyed this conversation:

Listen to Julia’s conversation with Mary Berry, on family, grief and learning to live alongside loss: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapy-works/id1646616622?i=1000791219769

You may also enjoy Sathnam Sanghera on bridging conflicting cultures, exploring family, identity, heritage and the search for belonging: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapy-works/id1646616622?i=1000674940873

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Guest: Elif Shafak