Why We Avoid the Things We Actually Want Ep 15

What happens when the thing you keep avoiding isn’t something you don’t want—but something you want deeply?

That question can be confusing because we tend to assume that if we really want something, our behavior should naturally move us toward it. But sometimes the closer a dream gets to becoming real, the more vulnerable it can feel.

In this episode of Unshakeable Belief, Monica explores why desire and avoidance can exist at the same time.

Using her own experience with speaking and visibility, Monica looks at the difference between wanting an opportunity and actually allowing yourself to be seen inside it. Sometimes the fear isn’t really about the stage, the project, the conversation, or the next step. Sometimes it’s about what becomes possible once other people can respond to us.

And that is where avoidance can make a lot more sense.

Because possibility feels different from reality. As long as something remains an idea, we still have a lot of control over the story. Once we act, we begin receiving real information. Someone may say yes. Someone may say no. We may be misunderstood. We may succeed. We may discover that the experience asks more of us than we expected.

That does not automatically mean we are moving in the wrong direction.

Sometimes discomfort is simply showing us where something important feels vulnerable.

In this episode, Monica also explores how old ideas about who we are can influence the choices we make now, why avoiding an experience can keep old beliefs intact, and how taking action can give us new evidence about what we are capable of handling today.

The question isn’t simply:

“Why am I getting in my own way?”

A more useful question may be: