Why You Keep People at Arm’s Length

If you’re fiercely independent, struggle to let people get too close or find yourself losing interest when someone becomes emotionally available, you might recognise yourself in the Ice Queen archetype.

But the Ice Queen isn’t cold.

Often, she feels deeply. She has simply learned that keeping people at a distance feels safer than risking being hurt again.

In this episode of Healing With Teeling, I’m breaking down the Ice Queen, one of the five Love Blocking Archetypes from my Why Am I Still Single? quiz.

We’ll explore:

Who the Ice Queen is and how she shows up in relationshipsWhy independence can become emotional armourWhy you might pull away when someone gets closeHow heartbreak, betrayal or emotionally unavailable relationships can create this patternThe subconscious beliefs driving your behaviourWhy emotionally unavailable people can sometimes feel more attractive than secure onesWhy healthy love can initially feel unfamiliar or even boringHow to practise vulnerability without losing yourselfHow to start breaking these repeating relationship patterns

Your conscious mind might want connection while your subconscious mind wants protection.

So while you’re saying, “I want a healthy relationship,” another part of you might be saying:

“Love leads to pain.”

“People leave.”

“I can only rely on myself.”

“If I let someone in, I’ll get hurt.”