EP 21: I Love My Kids… But I Don’t Love Being a Parent

You can love your kids with everything in you and still not love being a parent all the time.

The pickups. The drop-offs. The schedules. The sleepless nights. The endless questions. The responsibility of being needed every single day. Parenthood can be one of the most meaningful parts of your life while also being exhausting, overwhelming, and completely different from what you imagined.

In this episode, Kier gets honest about his complicated relationship with fatherhood and why parents need permission to hold two truths at once: I love my children, and sometimes I don't like the job of parenting. He explores why fathers often feel guilty admitting they need something outside of their families and how easily sacrifice can quietly turn into self-erasure.

Kier also reflects on watching his own mother pour everything into being a parent while neglecting herself and how that experience shaped the father he wants to become. He breaks down the difference between being a good father and being a whole father, and shares practical ways he protects the parts of himself that existed before he became "Dad."

If you've ever felt guilty for needing a break, missed the person you were before having children, or wondered whether taking care of yourself somehow takes something away from your family, this episode is a reminder that your kids don't need you to disappear in order to prove that you love them.

In This Episode

Why loving your kids and loving parenthood aren't the same thing

The emotional complexity of admitting parenting is hard

Why fathers feel guilty for wanting time for themselves

The difference between sacrifice and self-erasure

How fatherhood can slowly become your entire identity

Why men often build their identities around work, service, and being needed