How to Choose a Healthcare Proxy: Questions to Ask and Conversations to Have

Who would speak for you if you experienced a medical emergency and could not make healthcare decisions for yourself?

In this episode, Robin Shapiro of Well Said Health joins us to discuss how to choose a healthcare proxy—the person you authorize to make healthcare decisions on your behalf if you lose the ability to communicate or make informed choices.

Robin Shapiro is the founder of Well Said Health and a passionate advocate for helping individuals and families communicate clearly about healthcare choices.

Robin explains why this is not only an issue for older adults or people with serious illness. She encourages adults to put a healthcare proxy in place when they turn 18, especially before leaving home for college.

Robin offers practical guidance for selecting the right person, including the importance of choosing someone who:

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Understands your values, goals, and priorities

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Can remain calm during an emergency or emotionally difficult situation

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Is willing to speak up and advocate for your wishes

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Can communicate effectively with clinicians and family members

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Will honor your preferences, even if those preferences differ from their own beliefs

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Is available and willing to accept the responsibility

The conversation also addresses an equally important question: what should you talk about after selecting a proxy? Robin shares the kinds of values, treatment preferences, fears, hopes, and quality-of-life considerations that can help a proxy make decisions with greater confidence. Naming someone is important, but having ongoing conversations with that person is what gives the appointment real meaning.