85: How to Get Out of the Doghouse & Repair Your Relationship

Is "The Doghouse" a concept that shows up in your relationship?

You know...when something feels off with your partner, but you can't quite figure out what you did wrong? And you get frozen out.

In this episode, I'm looking at what the doghouse really is and why it's such a common phenomenon.

It could be the result of a serious mistake, or maybe it's a collection of small things like missed requests, forgotten promises, unmet expectations, and attempts to connect that didn't get much of a response.

I'll also tell you about one of my VIP clients, Bill, who was completely frustrated by how often he seemed to land in the doghouse. Once we figured out what was actually happening, the solution became a lot clearer.

Part 1: How You End Up in the Doghouse

To you, the doghouse often feels like it's come out of nowhere. Your partner can draw a straight line of events leading up to it.

Part 2: The Little Things Aren't Always So Little

My client, Bill thought he should get a pass on some of the small stuff because he was working 12- and 14-hour days. His wife experienced those same things very differently.

Part 3: Five Strategies to Retire the Doghouse for Good

What you can do when you're already in it, and how to deal with expectations, promises, frustrations, and requests before resentment starts building again.

Key Takeaways:Good intentions don't always create the impact you intended.People think they get into the doghouse because they do something wrong, but more often it's something we *don't* do. Forgetting important things, failing to follow through on promises, repeatedly ignoring your partner's bids for connection. The doghouse is not usually the first thing your partner turns to. They've likely tried several times to get you to pay attention before finally giving up and pulling away.A regular planning session can help both of you get expectations and requests out in the open before they turn into bigger problems.