Jurassic World: Rebirth

Before the new season begins next week, we’re excavating a prehistoric relic straight from our Patreon archive to keep your ears fed between seasons. We chose to dig up this bonus review for the main feed because it fits seamlessly alongside our last season, “Size Doesn’t Matter” and what’s bigger or more needlessly oversized than a Jurassic Park movie.

In this episode, we take a giant bite out of Jurassic World: Rebirth (or Afterbirth, as Dan calls it), dissecting whether Scarlett Johansson’s gun-toting mercenary, Mahershala Ali’s criminally underused sidekick, Jonathan Bailey’s dinosaur enthusiast, and Ruper Friend’s suit can save a script that feels more recycled than a parody of that scene from When Harry Met Sally.

What to expect from this episode:

Dan and Sarah debate whether Sarah would even know what a dinosaur looks like if she hadn’t seen Jurassic Park or if she’d assume they looked like handkerchiefs.

A thorough breakdown of whether Jurassic World Rebirth is somehow inferior to the 1994 cult masterpiece Tammy and the T-Rex.

Dan puts forth his conspiracy theory that Jurassic World Dominion was so atrocious it is directly responsible for modern geopolitics and that Chris Pratt is patient zero.

Sarah points out the bizarre franchise trope that every palaeontologist in existence had to be knighted by Dr. Alan Grant.

Dan identifies a massive plot hole involving a bespectacled gentleman.

A complete derailment into Vin Diesel’s plans to digitally resurrect Paul Walker for Fast 11 and whether Dan would allow his CGI corpse to star in a movie for £100 million.

We shall return!

On October 19th we’re back with a brand new season. This time chosen by Sarah. The new theme is ”After Death” and the first film we’re looking at is Talk to Me (2022).

Would you like to see the full lineup for season 17? The only place you can see it is on Patreon but you don’t need to be a paying member. Sign up for a free membership and get access to the lineup when it drops any day now.