Why People Don't Take Advice

Episode Summary

Brian Miller records a solo episode on a common leadership frustration: people ask for advice, receive good advice, agree that it makes sense—and then do not follow it.

Brian explores why advice often fails to create change. The issue is not always that the advice is wrong. The deeper problem is that advice often skips the internal process people need in order to act. Coaching offers a better kind of conversation by helping people come to their own awareness, develop stronger action steps, and take ownership of the result.

Big Ideas & Takeaways

Awareness: Advice gives people someone else's insight

Advice usually starts with what the advice-giver sees: "Here's what I think you should do." The advice may be wise, but the awareness belongs to the person giving it.

People change more deeply when they come to awareness themselves. A coach approach creates space for someone to notice assumptions, patterns, fears, desires, and possibilities they had not seen clearly before.

Brian illustrates this through his diabetes diagnosis. Being told he was diabetic did not instantly create full awareness. Later, a simple comment from his brother about giving up diet drinks helped Brian realize he had not yet tried everything. The awareness had to become his own before he could act on it.

Key implication: if people do not own the awareness, they are unlikely to own the change.

Action: Advice often produces weak action

Even when people accept advice, the action can be vague, minimal, or borrowed. They may nod, agree, and even try something—but without a clear plan, the action rarely holds.

A coaching conversation helps the person build a stronger action step. The action becomes specific, realistic, timely, and connected to the awareness they just discovered.