Why So Many Women Have Better Sex After 40

In this episode of The Connected Community Podcast: Exploring Possibility, Nicky Yazbeck sits down with Bria Tavakoli, LPCC, a sex and relational therapist specializing in intimacy, sexuality, and relationships at Evolving Intimacy Psychotherapy. Bria is also the creator of Sex and Psychedelics 101 and brings nearly two decades of experience in yoga, meditation, and embodiment into her therapeutic work.

Together, Nicky and Bria challenge the cultural myth that women’s sexuality inevitably fades with age. Instead, midlife can become a powerful time of sexual discovery, when women begin questioning old conditioning, letting go of shame, becoming more honest about what they want, and reconnecting with their bodies and erotic selves. For some women, their best sex may actually come after 40.

They explore how early sexual experiences, trauma, body image, relationship patterns, and cultural expectations can shape sexuality throughout our lives. The conversation also looks at what happens when partners have different sexual needs, why sex can carry very different emotional meanings for different people, and how power dynamics can influence intimacy and connection.

Bria and Nicky dive into shadow work, masculine and feminine energies, embodiment, self-esteem, grief, and the importance of curiosity and radical honesty in relationships. They also discuss sexual trauma and how turning toward our sensations and emotions can help us better understand what we need and desire.

Ultimately, this conversation is an invitation to rethink what we’ve been taught about sex, aging, and desire. Midlife doesn’t have to mean becoming less sexual. It can be an opportunity to shed old expectations, explore parts of yourself that may have been hidden, and reclaim your sexuality on your own terms.

takeaways:

Many people have negative first sexual experiences that can impact their future.

Midlife can be a time of empowerment and erotic discovery for women.

Cultural myths suggest that women's sexuality fades in midlife, which is not true.

Honesty and curiosity are essential for personal growth in relationships.

Shadow work can reveal hidden treasures about one's sexuality.

Balancing masculine and feminine energies can enhance relationships.