Episode #96 You’re Not Failing—You’re Missing a Step

What if the behavior you’re struggling with isn’t the real problem?

While training Denny, our yearling mustang, I realized how much working with a young horse feels like parenting: everyone has advice, nothing works for every individual, and you are often learning what to do while trying to teach someone else.

In this episode, I’m sharing the moments that made me wonder whether I had taken on more than I could handle—and the lessons that completely changed how I worked with Denny and my kids.

After getting support from horsewomen Amy Budd and Kayla Stone, I began to see what I had been missing. I was becoming so focused on completing the task that I was losing connection with the horse in front of me. I was expecting results without breaking the task into the small skills required to succeed. And sometimes, what looked like resistance was actually fear, confusion, limited capacity, or completely normal behavior for her age.

The same thing happens in parenting—and in our own lives.

We expect ourselves and our children to complete the whole task, regulate the big emotion, follow the direction, or handle the hard situation. But sometimes there is a missing step no one has identified or taught yet.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why connection can disappear when we become overly focused on the outcome

How unclear communication creates frustration for both parents and children

Why behavior may be a sign of fear, confusion, or exceeded capacity

How to break overwhelming tasks into smaller, achievable steps

Why celebrating micro-successes builds confidence and understanding