EP#229: How Do I Tell My Partner I’m Kinky with Kink Consultant Amanda Dames

<p>In this episode of the Open Bedroom Podcast, I welcome Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former NYC dominatrix. Amanda shares her journey discovering her kink identity, her experience as a dominatrix, and her transition into coaching. Our conversation covers BDSM dynamics, power exchange, and how to communicate desires in relationships. Amanda emphasizes that kink is normal, shame-free, and rooted in consent, offering practical advice for couples navigating mismatched desires or introducing kink into their relationships.</p><p><br /></p><p>Introduction to Amanda Dames (00:00:48) </p><p>The host introduces Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former New York City dominatrix, detailing her expertise.</p><p><br /></p><p>Amanda's Kink Discovery (00:02:13) </p><p>Amanda shares her early awareness of her interest in spanking and punishment, starting from the age of five.</p><p><br /></p><p>The Origins of Kink (00:03:51) </p><p>Discussion on whether people are born kinky, exploring ideas like past lives, epigenetics, and trauma as potential origins.</p><p><br /></p><p>Kink vs. Fetish (00:06:42) </p><p>A clear distinction is made between a kink (a nice-to-have) and a fetish (a need-to-have for arousal).</p><p><br /></p><p>Is Everyone a Little Kinky? (00:08:29) </p><p>Amanda argues that most people are a little kinky but are often afraid of the word itself.</p><p><br /></p><p>Experience as a Dominatrix (00:16:43) </p><p>Amanda recounts how she found a job as a dominatrix on Craigslist and what the work actually entailed.</p><p><br /></p><p>From Dominatrix to Kink Consultant (00:18:26) </p><p>Amanda explains her career transition from corporate life and moonlighting as a Domme to becoming a full-time kink consultant.</p><p><br /></p><p>Living in a 24/7 D/s Relationship (00:21:25) </p><p>Amanda describes her current 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship, where she is the submissive partner with her live-in Dom.</p><p><br /></p><p>The Appeal of Submission (00:24:48) </p><p>Amanda explains why being in a submissive role is appealing, highlighting the freedom and care it provides.</p><p><br /></p><p>How to Tell Your Partner About Your Kink (00:44:24) </p><p>Amanda provides a step-by-step guide on how to initiate a conversation with a partner about your kinks and fetishes.</p><p><br /></p><p><strong>Follow Amanda:</strong></p><ul><li><strong>Website:</strong> <a href="https://www.amandadames.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.amandadames.com/</a></li><li><strong>Instagram:</strong> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/</a></li><li><strong>Facebook:</strong> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/</a></li><li><strong>TikTok: </strong><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant</a></li><li><strong>YouTube:</strong> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant</a></li><li><strong>Podcast: </strong><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920</a></li><li><br /></li></ul><p><br /></p><ul><li><strong>Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: </strong><a href="https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1</a></li><li><strong>BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: </strong><a href="https://www.amandadames.c