227: Superman at 67: One Man's Brutally Honest and touching Story of Sex After Prostate Cancer

Episode Overview:

Jamie is 10 months on from a radical prostatectomy for Gleason 7 prostate cancer. He is single, in his late 60s, and refreshingly, bracingly honest about what the journey back to sexual function has been like. In this episode, Kate takes the hosting chair and draws out a conversation that goes well beyond the mechanics of rehabilitation and into desire, connection, what it means to pleasure a partner, and why prostate cancer recovery is never just about the man.

Jamie's prostate cancer was under observation for a couple of years before it began to progress. When his Gleason score rose to 7 and additional spots appeared, surgery was the clear next step. The operation went well and his PSA is now undetectable. But as every man who has been through this knows, undetectable PSA and feeling like yourself again are two very different things.

Post-surgery, Jamie had no erections. He experienced penile shrinkage. He was incontinent. And he had no idea, before surgery, that any of this was coming, because no one had told him in any real detail what to expect. He found Restorative Health Clinic through his prostate nurse a couple of months after surgery, and that is where things began to turn around.

What makes this episode stand out is Jamie's willingness to talk about the emotional and relational side of sexual recovery, not just the clinical steps. He talks about what it felt like to have an erection again for the first time after starting intracavernosal injections. He talks about the difference between a soft-penis orgasm and an erection-assisted one. He talks about the joy (his word) of being present with a partner during sex, of being part of her pleasure. And he talks about what he wishes someone had told him before surgery.

We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did interviewing Jamie.

Golden Tip: Saying 'I just want you to be cancer-free' can land as rejection, even when it comes from love

Key Message from Jamie

To be able to get an erection again and just enjoy it for what it was — that was empowering, to say the least. You don't appreciate it until you can't have it."

Jamie's other message, the one he wanted men to hear most,  is to learn to be a generous lover. Pleasure is not a one-way transaction. Being present with a partner, focused on her experience, is one of the most erotic and life-affirming things in sex. He learnt this more deeply through the experience of recovery, and he wishes he had understood it earlier.

Resources & Links

Book a telehealth appointment with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic