Why Fixing My Horse Didn't Fix My Confidence

<p>When I first got Toby, my confidence took a massive knock.</p><p>I initially thought that if we could improve Toby’s behaviour, my confidence would naturally come back. So the first thing I did was find a great instructor and trainer who could help me understand his behaviour and give us practical tools to use on the ground, while riding and during schooling.</p><p>And it worked… Toby’s behaviour improved.</p><p>But my nerves didn’t.</p><p>That was the moment I realised that rebuilding riding confidence wasn’t just about working with my horse. I needed to work on myself too.</p><p>In this episode of The Rise and Ride Show, I’m sharing the three-pronged approach that I developed through my own journey with Toby:</p><p>🐴 THE HORSE — training, understanding behaviour and practical tools.</p><p>🧠 THE RIDER — mindset, NLP and learning how to understand and regulate my own reactions and nerves.</p><p>🤍 THE CONNECTION — Reiki, regulation and developing a deeper sense of connection between horse and rider.</p><p>My journey into NLP eventually led me to complete a full NLP course because I wanted to understand it deeply enough to use it to help others, as well as supporting my own daughters with their confidence.</p><p>Then came Reiki. My Mum was already a Reiki practitioner, so I was familiar with it, but I decided to learn it for myself and began practicing on myself before going into the barn. I noticed how much it helped me slow down and regulate my own state.</p><p>Eventually I wondered: if Reiki was helping me, could it benefit Toby too?</p><p>That led me to learn Animal Reiki with the wonderful Sarah Beresford, spending time at her yard learning and practicing with her incredible horses.</p><p>Looking back, I can see that I didn&#39;t need to choose between working on my horse and working on myself.</p><p>I needed to consider the horse, the rider AND the connection between them.</p><p>In this episode, I talk about:</p><p>• Why improving Toby’s behaviour didn’t automatically restore my confidence<br>• The importance of finding the right trainer and practical support<br>• How NLP helped me understand my thoughts and reactions<br>• Why confidence isn’t simply about being brave or pushing through fear<br>• How I discovered Reiki and began using it for my own regulation<br>• My experience learning Animal Reiki with Sarah Beresford<br>• Why the horse, rider and connection all matter<br>• The three questions I now use when I feel stuck with my riding<br>• How