Shame, Meltdowns and Tantrums: Managing Emotions in Our Children & Ourselves with Dr. Bethany Bilodeau

<p>Is it defiance, or is it fear?</p><p>I sit down with <b>Dr. Bethany Bilodeau (Dr. B)</b>, an expert in human behavior, to talk about why school refusal, meltdowns, and "non-compliance" are almost always a nervous system that does not feel safe, not a bad kid.</p><p>Your child plants their feet at the front door. They will not get on the bus. They melt down over a spelling mistake, throw the game board, refuse to walk into a classroom. Everyone around you has a label for it: oppositional, disobedient, manipulative. And underneath it sits the question you are afraid to say out loud. <i>Is this my fault?</i></p><p>Dr. B told me: <i>"I very rarely meet a child that I truly think is non-compliant. Very, very rarely."</i></p><p>The harder we push, the more the child digs in, because pushing reads as a trap. We get into boundaries that create safety instead of control, why compliance was never the goal, and why failing with a safety net is the best kind of failing.</p><p>I also had to admit the part I rarely say out loud: sometimes my kid is fine with failing, and I am not.</p><p><b>This conversation is for you if:</b></p><ul><li>Your child fights you every morning about school</li><li>You have been told your kid is lazy, defiant, or non-compliant</li><li>You are carrying the weight of a system that grades you on how obedient your child is</li><li>You quietly wonder if their struggle is your fault</li></ul><p>You are not failing. Something else is going on, and it can be worked with.</p><p><b>More about Dr. Bethany Bilodeau</b></p><p>Dr. B is an expert in human behavior. Her career began as a teacher in Guam and personally with her own family's challenges. She designs programs that help people achieve emotionally, socially, and academically, and holds numerous certifications in behavioral therapies. She was awarded 2024 Business of the Year in Education and the Business Excellence for Social Equity Award.</p><p><b>Connect with Bethany:</b></p><ul><li><a href="https://www.thebehaviorbootcamp.com/">Website</a></li><li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/thebehaviorbootcamp">Instagram</a></li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.BTheSensoryExpert">YouTube</a></li><li><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-bethany-bilodeau-5a329b67">LinkedIn</a></li></ul><p><b>Ready to take the next step?</b></p><p>Download the free handout, <a href="http://www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient">5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day</a>, and start making the daily shifts that break the shame cycle keeping you stuck.</p><p>Book a free 25-minute <a href="https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call">discovery call</a> to discuss program options and find the support that best fits your needs.</p><p><b>Stay connected:</b></p><ul><li><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42">Spotify</a></li><li><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/untethering-shame/id1691795543">Apple Podcasts</a></li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@adversityrising">YouTube</a></li><li><a href="https://www.adversityrising.com">adversityrising.com</a></li></ul><p>Be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.</p>