What Is a Trauma Bond? Signs of an Abusive Relationship

What is a trauma bond, and why is it so hard to leave an unhealthy relationship even when you know you deserve better? In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton breaks down what trauma bonds actually are, why intermittent reinforcement and the "hope trap" keep us stuck, and how to finally break free.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Trauma Bonds

02:39 Shared Trauma vs. Trauma Bonds

08:22 Why You Can Miss Someone Who Treated You Terribly

12:51 Intermittent Reinforcement and the "Casino" Effect

22:10 Can You Genuinely Love Someone Who Hurts You?

26:42 Trauma Bond vs. Anxious Attachment vs. Codependency

32:55 Why Do We Keep Going Back?

39:59 Why Leaving Feels Worse at First (Cognitive Dissonance)

46:36 Childhood Trauma and Vulnerability

49:08 Grief, the Death of the Dream, and Practical Autonomy