Love or Control? AI Girlfriends, Consent, and Polyamory

Is it better to be in a relationship where you're constantly contorting yourself to avoid saying "no," or one where your partner can't say "no" at all?

Trick question. The answer is neither.

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by author, educator, and longtime member of Philadelphia's polyamory community, Kevin Patterson. They read two stories that seem completely unrelated, but share the same uncomfortable truth: relationships stop being healthy when someone else's autonomy disappears.

First, they dive into a spectacularly tangled Reddit post where a Dungeons and Dragons group has become a web of people-pleasing, poor communication, and emotional control. Then they discuss a Wired profile of Mystery (a pickup artist who rose to fame in the early 2000s) and his new AI girlfriend, exploring what it means to build intimacy with a partner who can never truly disagree.

Prepare yourself for:

Harris' 15 minutes of reality TV fame?!?!

The D&D to poly pipeline

How control can come from someone who acts like the victim

The appeal (and danger) of a frictionless or only friction relationship

The rise and fall of the early 2000s pickup scene

Building an AI to train people into being better

Healthy boundaries require honest "yes's" and "no's"