Vex King: What Your Children Really Learn When You Always Put Yourself Last

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Do you say yes when you mean no, then feel guilty for wishing you’d put yourself first?

In this heartfelt conversation, author Vex King joins Zoe to explore people-pleasing, self-worth and why caring for everyone else can leave us disconnected from ourselves.

Vex shares the extraordinary story of his mum, who raised three children alone after losing his dad, navigating poverty, homelessness and racism. He reflects on what her love and resilience taught him, and why, as a child, his greatest wish was simply for her to be happy.

Drawing on his new book, You Can’t Please Everyone, Vex explains the difference between making sacrifices for the people we love and losing ourselves in the process. He and Zoe explore how to recognise people-pleasing, reconnect with what matters to you and start setting boundaries, even when your voice shakes.

If you’re exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy, this conversation is a reminder that your needs, dreams and happiness deserve space too.

💡 In this episode, you’ll learn:

How to recognise when caring for others becomes self-abandonment

Why resentment can be a sign you’ve said yes when you wanted to say no

A simple exercise to help you identify your values and trust your decisions

How to start setting boundaries without feeling overwhelmed

What we model to our children when we make room for our own needs