Are Your Kids Being Used as Weapons in Your Divorce?

<p>Season 2 Episode 5: Are Your Kids Being Used as Weapons in Your Divorce? High Conflict Divorce Explained</p><p><br></p><p>What happens when divorce stops being about resolution… and starts becoming about control?</p><p><br></p><p>In this  episode of Not Saving It For Later, Hannah sits down with psychologist Dr. Mary Alvarez to unpack the painful reality of high conflict divorce and custody cases — and the devastating impact conflict can have on children.</p><p><br></p><p>If communication feels impossible… if you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells… if co-parenting feels more like surviving than parenting… this conversation is for you.</p><p><br></p><p>Dr. Alvarez brings decades of experience working inside high conflict family systems and explains what many parents quietly live through but struggle to put words around.</p><p><br></p><p>This conversation covers:</p><p>• What actually qualifies as high conflict divorce</p><p>• Why conflict is often about power and control—not parenting</p><p>• Co-parenting vs. parallel parenting</p><p>• How children become emotional weapons in custody battles</p><p>• Why tight custody orders matter</p><p>• How toxic conflict impacts children’s brains and development</p><p>• The emotional toll on the healthier parent</p><p>• Self-care, regulation, and surviving without losing yourself</p><p>• Whether children eventually “figure it out”</p><p><br></p><p>One truth from this episode that hit hard:</p><p>&quot;It’s not the divorce that harms children. It’s the ongoing conflict.&quot;</p><p>If you are navigating divorce or custody conflict, we hope this conversation helps you feel less alone — and more equipped.</p><p><br></p><p>TIMESTAMPS:</p><p>00:00 – Introduction + Why This Conversation Matters</p><p>02:15 – Meet Dr. Mary Alvarez + Understanding Her Role</p><p>07:40 – What High Conflict Divorce Actually Means</p><p>14:10 – Why Progress Can Feel Unsafe During Litigation</p><p>20:05 – Co-Parenting vs Parallel Parenting</p><p>27:35 – Why Tight Custody Orders Matter</p><p>34:50 – How High Conflict Personalities Operate</p><p>41:15 – When Children Become Weapons</p><p>48:20 – Why Moms Often Feel Pressure to Be “Perfect”</p><p>54:10 – Trauma, Emotional Regulation &amp; Self-Care</p><p>1:01:30 – Mental Health, Therapy &amp; Divorce Stigma</p><p>1:08:45 – Learning Emotional Skills During Divorce</p><p>1:14:20 – Choosing Which Hills to Die On</p><p>1:20:10 – Do Kids Eventually Figure It Out?</p><p>1:27:15 – Healing, Hope &amp; Leaving the Door Open</p><p><br></p><p>CONNECT WITH DR. MARY ALVAREZ:</p><p>Website: https://drmaryalvarez.com/</p><p>LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-alvarez-ph-d-4028836b/</p><p><br></p><p>CONNECT WITH HANNAH + HEMBREE BELL:</p><p>Website: www.hembreebell.com</p><p>Website: HannahHembreebell.com</p><p>Instagram: @hannahhembreebell</p><p>Instagram: @hembreebelllaw</p><p>Facebook: Hannah Hembree Bell</p><p>TikTok: @hannahhembreebell</p>