Episode 131: How to Try Again (Differently) with Author, Steve Kamb

What happens when something you really, really wanted doesn't work out?

You don't get tenure. The business fails. The career you spent decades building no longer fits. A relationship ends. Or maybe you simply realize that the version of success you've been working toward isn't something you want anymore.

For high achievers, failure can become tangled up with identity surprisingly quickly. We know how to work harder. We know how to persevere. But what happens when trying harder isn't actually the answer?

This week on Tales from The Lane, I'm joined by Steve Kamb, author of the new book How to Try Again and founder of Nerd Fitness.

Steve originally set out to write a book about behavior change and what happens when we fail to follow through on our goals. Then his own life went sideways. Personal and professional failures changed the book, and ultimately changed the way Steve thought about success, identity, resilience, and what it actually means to begin again.

We talk about Steve's PACT framework: Pause, Accept, Change, Try, and why sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop pushing forward long enough to figure out whether you're even still headed in the right direction.

We also dig into what happens when achievement becomes part of your identity, why acceptance is very different from giving up, how to examine a past failure like a detective instead of a prosecutor, and the surprisingly difficult question:

If you succeed at what you're doing now, will you actually want the life that success creates?

Steve shares his own experience spending years in the wrong role inside the company he founded, eventually "firing himself" so he could return to the creative work that made him feel alive.

And if you're currently somewhere between the person you used to be and the person you're becoming, we also talk about the deeply unglamorous but very real "caterpillar goo" stage of reinvention, when the old identity is breaking down and the new one hasn't quite formed yet.

This is a conversation about failure, yes. But even more, it's about giving yourself permission to change your mind, choose another path, and try again differently.

Connect with Steve Instagram: @SteveKamb Threads: @SteveKamb Substack: @SteveKamb LinkedIn: Steve Kamb Get the Book: How to Try Again Connect with Kate: 📚 Get my book Beyond Potential